Sunday, April 12, 2009


The New Jersey Devils will be playing the Carolina Hurricanes in Round 1 of the 2008-2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Yesterday's game against them was good. I like it when we win the last game of the regular season; I actually was at the Rock last season when we beat the Rangers in a shootout for the last game of the season after they had beaten us every single game prior to that (which is kinda like what happened yesterday only we were 0-3 against the 'Canes and 0-9 against the Rangers).

So the 'Canes benched their star goalie Cam Ward yesterday. I, like 95% of all Devils fans, take this is a blatant dis. It was their way of saying 'we-are-not-afraid-to-play-you-and-we-know-we're-going-to-win'. I guess the joke was on them in the end but still, I don't see how that could be taken as a pure coincidence. Cam Ward is their best goalie. He carried the team to the playoffs. They beat us in all three games prior to yesterdays. They sat him. That would be like if we played Kevin Weekes (even though good, 'ol Weeksie played for the 'Canes) after we beat them 3 times. Whatever, it doesn't matter. They're going to play Cam Ward in the next few games anyway (until we destroy them and their pretty boy Eric Staal).

It's playoff time.
Who's pumped?
Rock Your Red 2009.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Devils @ Senators (4/9/09)

7:30 – Is it wrong that I get a warm, fuzzy feeling every time I hear that the Sens are out of the playoffs? Nah, it’s okay. I’m still bitter from May 5th, 2007…

7:31 – Patty Elias is back! Mike Rupp and Bobby Holik are healthy scratches… wait, what?

7:34 – Chico says that Zdeno Chara was ‘raving about how aggressive the Senators are’. Aiight, if 6’9 half-monster, half-man Zdeno Chara says you play aggressively, you must be playing with rocket-powered ice skates and a flamethrower.

7:39 – And the puck drops in Ottawa. Pandolfo, Madden and Shanny are starting us off.

7:41 – Zdeno Chara: ‘Wow they’re aggressive. Every time I looked up, there was no one open.’ …like I said, rocket-powered skates and a flamethrower. No one intimidates King Kong Chara.

7:42 – Oh, what a chance by Jamie Langenbrunner. Not going to get a better chance this early, that’s for sure. We needed Zachy Boy to get the rebound but he wasn’t there. Boo.

7:43 – Doc talks about Daniel Alfredsson’s ping-pong skill. I am not joking.

7:44 – Senators score. That one hurt me in my soul. 1-0. GEE THANKS, JARRKKO RUUTU.

7:49 – Apparently a Senator is dating Carrie Underwood. Gee Chico, how…relevant to the hockey game. Thanks for that.

7:50 – The Devils have two shots on goal. We’re 8 minutes in.

7:51 – Amazing scoring opportunity by Patrik Elias which he misses.

7:53 – Lots of shots and commotion near the Sens net. Auld, the goalie who’s first name I do not know, ends up covering it.

7:56 – Pierre-Luc Leblon gets into a fight. I do not know who he is but he’s from Lowell and he’s a feisty little one.

7:58 – Another scoring chance that ends as it always does; ‘should’ve-could’ve-would’ve-gotten-the-rebound’.

7:59 – Oh, joy. Another scoring chance that Travis Zajac and Jamie Langs do not score on. Then a 4-on-2 goes the other way and MB30 makes like 100 saves.

8:00 – Two Sens go end-to-end and rush Marty but thanks to some Dev-tastic Defense, they couldn’t get the shot off.

8:00 – I really hope Jamie Langs scores tonight. And it’s not just because I totally love him but because if he scores, he has his first 30-goal season. I mean, come on, the kid never even had a hat trick (though he did have that wonderful three-game-two-goals-a-game-thing streak. God, I miss that.)

8:02 – Colin White in the box for tripping. C’mon Whitey, what are you doing to us?

8:02 – God bless goal posts.

8:03 – MB30 is in the zone (despite the whole ‘they-scored-on-us’ thing.)

8:04 – Penalty to Whitey ends. The combination of MB30 and those lovely little goal posts are going to end up helping us.

8:05 – Auld the Goalie makes me angry.

8:08 – Does no one else find it funny when MB30 leaves his net in such a hurry on a delayed-penalty that it looks like his pants are on fire?

8:10 – It makes life easier when the exact time left in the period is the length of the penalty.

8:29 – And we’re back on the ice.

8:30 – Shanny wipes out along the boards but still makes the pass to Whitey who takes a shot but just misses.

8:32 – Lots of shots come from a Sens penalty (too many men) but no one is burying it because Auld the Goalie is being difficult.

8:33 – GOOAAL BRIAN GIONTA. Yeah, shorty, gonna buy you a drank or something! I don’t know, I’m too white to rap but that little man just saved us!!


8:38 – Andy Greene gets bumped behind MB30’s net.

8:41 – Upon seeing the goal footage again, I am seriously led to believe that the only thing Clarky knows how to do is the wrap-around!

8:43 – Pierre-Luc-Le-Blah-Blah checks himself.

8:44 – WHITEY!! It was only a little bit of a scrap with glove-punches but I haven’t seen Whitey get into anything in a while and for a big strong badass like him, I find it fun to watch.

8:46 – They both get minors for roughing. 4-on-4 time!

8:47¬ – Paul Martin goes CRUNCH behind MB30, courtesy of a Sen.

8:48 – Zachy Boy Parise ends up landing on his butt in the goal crease when the play stops. It is just me or does that boy fall down a lot?

8:51 – Jamie Langs leading on a 2-on-1, takes a shot that goes wide. Then, the 2-on-1 turns into MB30’s problem but he blanks them.


8:58 – LOL. Whitey cursed. I love him.

9:00 – Epically failing at the whole ‘scoring’ thing but doing good on the whole ‘penalty kill’ thing.

9:02 – Well, the penalty’s over so, yay us.

9:04 – Dainius Zubrus skates by looking just awesome in hockey pants.

9:05 – Aaand period number two is over. Also there’s a penalty on the Sens that we’ll be happily accepting in roughly 17 minutes.

9:07 – Interview with the short and sexy Brian Gionta who is the same height as Steve Cangelosi. Did I mention he’s hot?

9:22 – LOL. Gay little bit with Doc/Chico/Chuck the Duck. It was funny and cute in a totally gay way. Also, we’re back.

9:25 – Based on the ‘BOOOO!!’ coming from the Sens fans, I think we just got away with something.

9:25 – Remember when I said I loved those goal posts? I changed my mind; they suck! Puck goes DING and prevents Zachy boy from getting his 7,000th goal.

9:25 – Break away towards MB30 that a stick-less Paul Martin helps prevent.

9:27 – Shots and shots and more shots that Auld the Goalie stops.

9:28 – MB30 saves our butts.

9:29 – Zachy boy is once again denied a goal.

9:31 – A Sen-Sen lost a glove.

9:32 – Rutuu (Ruutu?) gets a penalty for hooking Patty Elias.

9:34 – Clarky and I are both pissed off at Auld the Goalie right now. STOP BEING A BRICK WALL, ATG (not to be confused with ‘Alexander The Great’).

9:35 – A scary moment where an odd man rush goes to MB30. He tries to cover it, but loses it. So, Clarky and Gio tackle him and some Sens jump on the dog pile.

9:36 – Parise does a little backhand pass move that goes directly to a Sen-Sen. Good to go, Zachy boy.

9:40 – Chico, again, talks of Alfredsson’s ping-pong ability. Also, we have a 4 minute power play. I think it had something to do with the bug-like squashing of MB30.

9:41 – The boards behind Auld the Goalie get painted a new shade of Brian Gionta.

9:43 – 1 minute left on the PP…still waiting.

9:44 – Dainius Zubrus gets called for something that turns out to be Andy Greene’s fault. Now Andy sits alone in the penalty box…silly Greenie. Out of both the men with colors for last names, he’s the less vicious one!

9:48 – Scary opportunity for the Sens to score. Yikes, we can’t let those things happen.

9:49 – Seriously, stop letting the Sen-Sens take shots, Dev-tastic Defense!

9:52 – Dear Devils Defense, AGHHH!! Love, Kristyn.

9:52 – Zachy boy Parise with WHAT COULD’VE BEEN the most beautiful, highlight-reel worthy steal and goal EVER!

9:54 –Alfredsson stops a puck with his face.


9:57 – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Elias and Shanny lay down on the ice, as would I right now. Dany Heatley, you’re a douche. 2-2, with 30 seconds left. Screw my life.

9:59 – Aaaaannnd, we go to overtime. BOO. MB30, brace yourself.

10:00 – Shanny, Madden, Mottau, Whitey. Interesting choice there, Sutter man.

10:01 – Whitey is shaking with fear. Or maybe that’s the camera that’s shaking…

10:03 – Devs, you cannot score if you do not shoot!

10:04 – MB30, I will have your children after that save. I LOVE YOU. EPIC GLOVE SAVE.

10:05 - Auld the Goalie is a prick.

10:06 – AAGGH!! Rebounds are not the Devils friend tonight. We cannot bury it.

10:08 - Shootout. It’s okay. Don’t be alarmed. We are sexy in shootouts. We know this. Zachy boy, Saint Patrik and Jamie Langs. They’re boss at this.

10:09 – The suspense is killing me. Comrie is the only one to score against Brodeur. And Shanny is shooting for us? Can somebody say ‘Armageddon’.

10:11 – Zachy boy, Shanny and Lang-tastic! Yay us! Zachy boy takes his shot and…SCORES!! Zachy hearts <3!

10:11 - Alfredsson shoots and scores. BOO. Fail.

10:12 – Shanny baby! Shoots and scores! Oh, I love this man!

10:12 – Fisher shoots for Ottawa…DENIED!!

10:12 – If Langs scores, we win! Oh, I am dying right now. Come on, Jamie! Shoots…denied. It’s okay, Jamie, I still love you. No matter what. Granted, scoring helps…but still.

10:13 – SPEZZA DENIED! DEVILS WIN! MB30!! 50 wins!

10:14 – Shanny and Zachy boy just straight up saved us and thanks to MB30’s black-magic type save (no, that was not a Kevin Weekes joke), we won our 2nd to last game! Devils hearts! <3 Great game, boys!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Okay, so I haven't updated this in a while due to lack of time and lack of fans (duh xD). However, the action in the New Jersey hockey club hasn't subsided and there's a lot for me to talk [rant] about. Let's start with the obvious.

So, welcome back, Marty Brodeur. I'll be honest...when Brodeur went down in November, every Devils fan died a little inside and was just about anticipating the Devils to drop down to the bottom of the standings. We were ready to try and use Mr. Kevin Weekes but Weeksie, while I do love him, is not an all-star. So what do we do? We ask our nice little minor league goalie, Scott Clemmensen, to come up from his nice AHL spot to cover for our 4-time-Vezina-winner, ever-year-all-star, future-hall-of-famer, lots-of-records-holding-goalie that is Brodeur. ...wait, what? Isn't that a little much to put on a minor leaguer like Clemmensen? Well, apparently no one else thought so. And they were right. It turns out Scott Clemmensen (known as 'baby goalie') is actually really, really, seriously, good.

Yes, Scott Clemmensen carried us from November to February and blocked shots like a half-ninja, half-goalie mixture man. When Marty comes back, though, we dropped baby goalie like he was hot and stuck him back into the minors. Okay, I get that we couldn't drop Weeksie due to some waiver-issue but really? Isn't dropping him a little harsh seeing as he saved our sorry red-rocking asses from complete obliteration at the hands of, well, everyone? Probably, yeah.

Well Brodeur is back to us now. Not only is he back but he's making the other team's offensive players cry. To quote the great Chico, Brodeur is a 'fabulous freak of nature'...not to mention he has 2 shutouts in his first 3 games back! That is insane. And we love it. True, there was a time not too long ago where I despised Brodeur for his unfortunate injury and I poked a little fun at the man who was sitting out. I may've called him things like 'pixie' or 'fairy queen' or 'princess' or 'delicate little flower'. I may've said things like 'listen to me Nancy-boy, pull up your dress, strap on some skates and get your girly ass down in the crease!'... but, uh, where was I going with this? Oh yes, he's back and he's playing better than ever!

Granted, the Devils defense stepped it up BIG-TIME the night of Brodeur's return. Can you blame them? I think Colin White and Paul Martin were using every inch of their body as a shield to keep that puck away from MB30 (how gay is that new mask, by the way...). Really though, I'm glad to have Marty back.

And then there's Zach Parise. I'm not a puck bunny type fan. Not at all. While Zach Parise is the object of lust for all the teenage girl hockey 'fans' in the area, I never bought into it. But with THIRTY-EIGHT goals this season...I'm seriously considering one of those Anime-type love sequences where I float in the air behind him surrounded by little hearts! Of course, Jamie Langenbrunner and Travis Zajac are both HUGE HUGE HUGE parts of his success but really Zach, you're like Super Man this year.

Rant part II coming tomorrow after trade deadline!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Devils @ Panthers 2/17/09

After 4 straight wins at home, the Devils head to Florida for a 3-game road trip, on which, injured Paul Martin, Brendan Shanahan and Martin Brodeur are traveling. Will David Clarkson score two more goals? Will Baby Goalie shut out the Panthers? Will Brian Gionta run into another goalie? Will Jamie Awesomebrunner have a random offensive explosion? Please, let the hockey gods be in a good mood.

7:38 - Aannndd we're off! In a much warmer Florida atmoshphere, the action has begun.

7:40 - Jamie Langenbrunner is robbed by the Panther's goalie...awesome start, right?

7:41 - Crap, I forgot Richard Zednik plays for the Panthers! That might not be good news for the Devs.

7:44 - GRRRRR. Panthers score on a clearly unprepared Baby Goalie. Florida's crowd's is suprisingly loud.

7:59 - Roar. I'm bored.

8:01 - Three Devils in front of the Panthers net, can't hit it in. Passes to Johnny Oduya who fires one that HITS THE POST! GRRR!!

8:10 - No comment.

8:12 - Period 1 over. Grr.

8:29 - Period 2. Woo.

8:39 - The Devils are playing like it's high school hockey and I'm yelling at the TV. I hate life.

8:49 - AAAAGHH!! Panthers are evil!! 2-0!!

8:54 - eydaroija;eryoj36uq09eteoi I HATE LIFE! 3-0.

8:56 - Penalty to the Panthers. COME ON DEVILS LET'S SHOW SOME OFFENSE HERE! And Baby Goalie: LOOK ALIVE!!

9:04 - 2nd period over.


9:20 - And we're back on...


9:37 - Dear Devils, Tomas Vokoun is NOT a pinata. You may not beat him with your sticks, regardless of the score! Jeez.

9:45 - WHAT THE HELL?! Brent Sutter just pulled the goalie with 5 minutes left in the game and now Jamie is in the penalty box? FANTASTIC!! Because what more could we want besides a 4-on-4 with 4:45 left in the 3rd when we're down by 3. HOLY SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME! I'm going to hurt someone...

9:48 - WOW! PANTHERS SCORE! HATE! 4-0. This is pitiful.

9:53 - TV We lose. I hate everything.

We couldn't have played worse. That was just...bad. I don't even know. We should've played Weeksie. Baby Goalie, while I adore him, was having one hell of an off-night. I don't even know.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Bruins @ Devils 2/13/09

Ah, the Boston Bruins. They are good. I have faith in our Devils though.

-Milan Lucic of the Bruins has 180 hits this season. Ouch.

7:10 - Aannndd we're off!

7:11 - Zdeno Chara is a giant. I know that he's 6'9 and all but he looks like a monster when he's skating next to Johnny Madden.

7:13 - The Devils are playing damn good defense tonight. Even Mike Rupp had a great backcheck. Also, Jamie Awesomebrunner just hit someone.

7:14 - Bid Zdeno Chara gets called for a hold on David Clarkson. I didn't really see a hold, it was more of a hug...

7:16 - Boston goalie, Tim Thomas, is a brick wall.

7:21 - Chara hits Jamie Langenbrunner. Chara seems to do that a lot...





7:25 - Lots of shots on Baby Goalie.

7:28 - Doc, Chico and Steve Cangelosi talk about Martin Brodeur's return. Woo.

7:31 - Bobby Holik makes a Bruin go SPLAT.

7:32 - Marc Savard gets a penalty for tripping Paul Martin.

7:35 - What a horribly uneventful power play!

7:35 - John Madden on the break away. 2-on-1. Madden over skates and falls on his ass.

7:42 - Period 1 over. 0-to-0. Boring, boring, boring.

7:58 - Puck dropped for period 2.

8:00 - Chara hits Langenbrunner again! What is his deal?

8:04 - Patrik Elias called for a hook on Zdeno Chara. Smart, hook the guy with a bounty on Jamie.

8:04 - BREAK OUT! TRAVIS ZAJAC PASS THE DAMN PUCK! Passes too late and Paul Martin can't get the shot off.

8:08 - A Bruin tries to decapitate Bobby Holik after a scrap resulting from a dislodged net.


8:12 - Chara chases after Jamie Langs. What is his damage?!


8:17 - YAY!! BRYCE SALVADOR! I NEVER DOUBTED!! RIGHT OFF THE FACEOFF! What's wrong, Tim Thomas? Can't cover the five-hole?


8:55 - This game is so boring.

We win! We win! Extremely boring game but it's another shut out by Baby Goalie!!

That was a very important win for us and while the game almost put me to sleep, it was good to see Baby Goalie rack up another shut out.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Islanders @ Devils 2/11/09

Ah, a division match up. Don't you love it? I'm not going to do a full play-by-play, though. I'm providing a slightly watered-down version of it. I'm mentally and physically exhausted and can only give so much humor and ingenious sarcasm. So here we go. Let's go Devils.

7:03 - Jay Pandolfo will be playing for the first time since January 17th.

7:06 - Travis Zajac has a +/- of +27. Jeez. He's pretty awesome.

7:11 - Andy Greene stole the puck from someone! Woo! Greene did something useful.

7:12 - YAY WEEKSIE! Kevin Weekes makes his first save of the game.

7:13 - Islanders score on Weeksie. Is it too late to take back my 'yay'?

7:20 - If I could coach the Devils, I would totally change the lines. Also, I'd be less angry than Brent Sutter is.

7:21 - Brent Sutter quote about Martin Brodeur's recovery and return: "I had 7 pucks lined up & I scored 4 times on him. When he's ready to play, he's got to stop all 7." Jeez Marty, if you can't stop Brent Sutter's shots, please don't come back yet.

7:23 - Oh, come on! How did we not score on that?! It was 4 inches from the goal line and there were two red-shirts in front! Well, we got a power play thanks to Brendan Witt of New York. Interference. Dummy.

7:25 - Jamie Langenbunner gets hit in the mouth by a high-stick and spits out some blood. The refs don't buy it though and only give the dirtbag who him 2-minutes. Poor Captain. At least he kept his teeth in.

7:27 - Seriously, if we cannot score on a 5-on-3 against the ISLANDERS, we've got issues.

7:28 - HUUGEE oporitunity by Brian Gionta in front of the net. MacDonald blocks it and then two Islanders knock Gio over.

7:30 - I re-watched the high-stick on Jamie thanks to the magic of TiVo. If that's not a double-minor, I don't know what is. He was bleeding.

7:31 - Doc and Chico's banter is less funny when we are losing and Jamie is bleeding.

7:33 - Jamie gets knocked over behind MacDonald's net. Leave Awesomebrunner alone!

7:36 - I believe David Clarkson draws a penalty but they cut to commercial before we are sure. Silly Clarky, penalties are for Isles!

7:38 - Clarky + Bad call = High-sticking penalty.


7:46 -Yes! Weeksie makes a GREAT glove save! DO THIS MORE OFTEN!!

7:47 - Intermission. 1-1. Yay Devs!

8:07 - Gahh! I miss the first minute of play because I was showering. Brian Gionta with a great check against the boards.

8:09 - Fantastic chance by Jay Pandolfo. Denied by MacDonald.

8:10 - Fantastic-er chance by Bryce Salvador but denied AGAIN by MacDonald. Bobby Holik gets called for goalei interference. Doh!

8:13 - NO! Islanders score on the power play. 2-1. ='( [See how sad that sad-face is?]

8:16-ish - Brian Gionta injures Doug Weight.

8:25 - The Devils have taken about 807 shots. We're on the power play and cannot do anything.

8:28 - I hate life.

8:31 - They're reviewing the goal? I'm confused. I guess they think it may've crossed. Clearly it didn't. I don't see why they're reviewing it. They announce 'no goal on the play'. I think Zachy boy's gonna cry.

8:34 - The Islanders captain goes to the unforvgiving penalty box for hooking.

8:35 - YAY!!! JAMIE LANGENBRUNNER! Oh, you don't even know how much I love you!! 16th of the year!

8:42 - Interview with good 'ol Awesombrunner. His hair is looking particularly spikey.

8:59 - And the 3rd period is back on.

9:11 - So bored...


9:38 - 4-2 victory over the Islanders!! Also, Jamie lost a tooth? I don't really know how because he wasn't really bleeding when he got hit in the mouth earlier but now he has one less tooth.

That was a great game.

Jamie hearts <3


Monday, February 9, 2009


I probably would've enjoyed the end-result much more if I saw it myself...but Baby Goalie shut out the Rangers! I was busy playing in my own JV hockey game (we got crushed to dust). Still, Zach Parise with a two-goal game and Bobby Holik scoring one, it seemed to have been a great game. According two the recap, there were 2 fights (thank you David Clarkson and Mike Rupp!) and somehow I'm sure Mikey won and Clarky did not. Oh yeah, did I mention that BABYGOALIESHUTOUTTHERANGERS!!


Eh, did I mention that he's awesome?